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RavenLaughs
chainsawraven
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There are quite a few of you whom over the years I have lost contact with. be it through choice or circumstance.
I have lived in the Bay Area for the last 14 years of my life. Through the bust of 2000 up to and including this most recent economic crisis.

I have grown accustomed to this place. I figured I would be here for a big old chunk of my life and in a sense I have been.

However, it looks like I am going to be moving out of state as of next month.

On my way to Colorado Springs, Colorado. For those of you that know anything about my personal life, you will know I lived there when I was 18. Well I am going back. Gonna see what kind of gig I can pick up there. Have family there so it is not like I am choosing this place at random.

I will update a bit more frequently here so that those of you that care will have a point of reference.
(You can also look for RavenLaughs on youtube and vloggerheads.com I still update those places somewhat regularly. One more than the other.)

That is pretty much it. Just thought I would mention it.

overheard a co worker talking about the 3 day weekend that was coming up.
a different co worker mentioned it was Memorial Day weekend.

See? I don't pay attention to that kind of stuff, so I wandered over to the BayCon website.

Checked the program for the scheduled events...

After 12/13 years, a landmark of the event has FINALLY passed.

NO BOFFER ROOM

The room has gotten progressively worse for the last 7 - 8 years. It has always been scheduled.

But not this time.

I don't know if I should be sad or a relieved.

Lost: Place where I am living
When: 3 months or so
Where: San Jose
Why: Forclosure
How: See above
Who: Me

In case you didn't catch the new look...Collapse )

Do you consider yourself an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?


Simply put, modern realism is seen as pessimism because of the stark nature of the reality being recognized. We live in a world of extremes, to ignore them does not make one an optimist, it makes you willfully ignorant.

I am all for optimism, I think it really takes a strong will to be optimistic. Hope can be a very powerful force... look at the election...

Hope alone however, does not create change.

Thus I am a realist. I know the world is in a shit place. I know things are bad and I openly recognize this. What seperates me from a pessimist is that I see these things and live a life that tries to bring a positive change into the mix, granted I name all the negative things regularly to remind the world that, yes, there is a lot of shit out there that isn't going away.

a taste of the old days, rekindled...Collapse )




"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

George Washington

The past never really leaves you behind...Collapse )

No other reason for this post than to maintain what apparently I had done for the last however many years I have had this LiveJournal.

I went back and saw that I had posted something every year on the 28th of December (Except for one and that was a post on the 26th and then again on the 29th)


So there ya go, nothing to see here, move along :)

A change is needed...Collapse )


Find more videos like this on VloggerHeads

As the world burns...Collapse )

If there is one thing I have learned in time where the seems to be no end to the damage, it's that I can't help but want to give.

One would think that there would be a grind to want payback. Some kind of hammering to get revenge.

Yet here I sit, with nothing else going on. I am sitting in the dark, I got my iTunes blaring in my ears. Alone as always.

Should I bemoan my world? I have nothing really tethering me to anything. Relationships are intangible things. Friend is a title. Family is a circumstance.


Yet I can't help but feel that I am not giving enough.


I think this shit really is nothing more than reality reminding me of my place in the universe.


Find more videos like this on VloggerHeads

Looks like I am back in the shit again.

I have once again joined the ranks of the unemployed.

Ninja-layoff this morning.

Sitting in cube
Boss asks to talk
Suggests Conference room
VP sitting in conference room
The rest was obvious.



Here we go again.

For those of you who have been wondering what I have been doing.

I have been on VloggerHeads (which is what YouTube used to be to me) as well as...









So there ya go.

If there is one thing I hate more than Leet speak, it's fucking Corp Speak...


You know, those stupid fucking buzz words that are used in the corporate environment. ESPECIALLY in company wide announcements.

I got your redefining the paradigm to streamline the integrated market based pipeline right here in my fucking pants.

Jesus I hate these self important gibbering nimrods.



Yes, this is one of those things that I actually DO hate.

I am almost sick with frustration.

I have been blessed as of late to have been given the chance to help friends of mine and to actually been in a position to do so.

I can't explain how fucking cool it is to be able to be the one that grabs the extended hand that need to be pulled out of the water.

All my life I have had situations where I was that hand and didn't have someone I could count on for that so I know the feeling of how much it can suck when you reach out and find nothing there.

If I could support the people in my life who I care about forever, I would do so without a moments hesitation.

But those last few sentences really don't match up to my opening one do they? Unless I was saying that I was sick with frustration of not being able to do more...

No...

Well in a sense yes but it is not the intention of the feeling.


I have been called negative by quite a few people who have passed through my life.
I think I can chalk up part of that to the fact that I am always spouting off about something I "hate"

I hate this... I hate that... I hate him or her.


As I drove home tonight from the office, I understood something. There are things in my life that I do, honestly hate, but the rest is just sort of this sick disgust. A layer of intense dislike or uncomfort. Unhappiness some might call it.

As the days/weeks/months/years pass, I can see the world becoming a worse place.I see the injustice, the ignorance, the way the world works. Good people are punished and bad people are rewarded...

Good... Bad... both relative terms.

How can one base a global judgment on something so personal?

There is nothing for me to gain personally. Well that is not true. If the world gets better around me, I get to revel in the aftermath, so I do get something.

That is the endgame though. That all comes after the fact, all the stuff leading up to that is what I mean. In this case the end can justify the means.

I believe in justice. I believe in fair.

There are those that say that fair is just something people who are without cry...

The people that say that are not the ones that are lacking, now are they.

The have and have nots. There is no way to make the world we live in TRULY fair. Neutral. Any changes are an agent of an agenda. One side wanting things for theirs.


How the FUCK do I make a dent in this world?

I am not looking for a hand out. I am not looking to make my life better personally directly.
I can make my life better by making the whole better.

I am so full of frustration I am soul sick. Why the fuck do I care? Nothing I say or do changes the reality of the world.

How come I can't simply apply change to my own personal world and be satisfied?

Because I am not so selfish to only care about me, that's why.



On a side note. Ray, if you post a comment to this that is pithy or silly I will remove you from my friends list, Understand? I am not interested in silly comments this time.

Been here all weekend it seems...Collapse )

Hey Cypher!

You scored 140 on our IQ Test.


Your IQ Range is Above 140 and you are EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT.


Congratulations on completing our IQ test! Based on your answers to the test questions, your IQ is above 140.

IQ scores are based on a scale where a score of 100 is the average score. By scoring higher than 100, you have shown that you have a higher than average intelligence level. Your score range of above 140 is the highest category and indicates that you are extremely intelligent, so again, congratulations are in order!

Your intelligence level can say a lot about how you approach life. By having a high score, you are someone who can face their challenges and often overcome them easily. You look at the world and are able to make sense of it by fitting together the pieces of the puzzle.

OK folks...

Ya'll have friends and sometimes those friends need a hand cause the world we live in is run by people who don't know you and could give a shit less if you die.

On average, most people are generally good. Not directly wanting a random stranger to suffer. But those people are also not so likely to put themselves at risk in some way to help.

*Side note... Yes, I did just state that most people are generally good. Completely against my previous statements about how I feel about humanity, but this is not about me so I can say those things in genuine honesty. Personally I think on average most people are self absorbed wastes, but like I said, this isn't about me...

So here we are, left to face that fact as best we can with what we have.

I dunna have many close people in my life. I have pushed most folks away or just out right alienated them from my life for one reason or another.

Although there are times when I feel sad about this fact, I dunna regret the choices I made. I live by my decisions. Such is the life of an extremist personality type.

Hard to deal with, even harder to love.

So I am asking you all to help... Not me. I am not looking for you to support me. Gods know it isn't in my nature to ask for it for myself.

No. I am asking you to help someone else whom we have in common.

She won't ask herself because she is proud and stubborn.

She is also selfless and chances are has extended her hand to you when you needed it.

One of the people in our lives is taking a chance to make herself into the person she feels she is meant to be, which means that the rest of the world is gonna do absolutely nothing to support this endeavor.

So here I am trying to change that. At least in my own way.

I know that times now are hard. The economy is fucked. Things are in a general state of screwed. We are all trying to keep ourselves afloat until things get better or change in a way that we are better suited to deal with.

I am not asking you all to give up your own well being, just help out a friend a little, what ever you can to make someone's situation a bit more bearable, is all.

I am already investing in the situation but I canna cover the whole thing, otherwise I wouldn't be asking here.

So if you are one of the Silly Con Valley types, or are within a reasonable distance to this place, could you help out?

Please contact me for details if you don't already know what I am referring to.

Thank you.




Man, there are some things in this world that are kinda scary... I mean they have them made from MEAT too?

Check out the new Batman, it is worth the money.

Also be sure to get a good seat when you do.

I saw it today and had to sit in the front on the side. I am going again and this time I want to be dead center so I dunna miss any details.

:)

So today is the day that Apple does the promotion that you can get an 8gig Iphone (The new version) for $200 with a 2 year contract with AT&T (Special rules apply, such as not already owning an IPhone or have a phone line with AT&T...)

So I thought I would take the opportunity to grab one. (Helio sucks for those of you that think it a good idea to try them)

I work in Mountain View so I thought I would run over to the Apple store on University to grab one real quick.

Boy was that a dumb idea...

First off, for those of you not familiar with University Ave. The people that designed the layout of the street itself going from East Palo Alto into Palo Alto directly were apparently sadists and on some kind of Crack binge. It is a major threw way, yet it is duel lane, one going East and one West, Not to mention the turn offs for side streets, so a drive that should only take 3 minutes can take up to 20 dependent on traffic not to mention pedestrians and stop lights at EVERY corner.

So once I braved that travesty, I get to where the Apple store is.... and the HUGE line that wraps around the corner...

Silly me thinking that it would have been so easy to go and do this on the opening day of this deal...

Wasted half an hour of my work day for this...

Christ...

Heh

Everything happens for a reason so I am just gonna roll with it.

What happens when you take a classic Journey song and try to make it up to the younger generations?

Why adaptation of course...

For you now is the beginnings of the bridge between those two worlds...

I give you "Don't Stop Subscribing!"



She's just a Night Elf Drood, Wastin' F00's and Pwning n00bs! She took her Epic Mount going ANYWHERE!

He's just an Undead 'Lock Melting faces round the clock! He took his Epic Mount going AAAANNNNYYYYWWWWWHHHHEEEEERRRREEEEE!

WoWing People... Grinding out and uber raiding. Shadows Dancing in the NNNIIIIGGGGHHHTTTT!



(*sung to the tune of Don't Stop Believing)

My brain doesn’t agree with my stubborn nature apparentlyCollapse )

The usual odd dream as well as the occasional thoughts…Collapse )

http://ravenlaughs.mypodcast.com

It is said that a lesson learned really isn't learned until you experience the lesson itself…Collapse )

You would think that becoming OK with being single would also allow me to stop being self critical…Collapse )

Just another set of thoughts that have popped into my head in the last couple of daysCollapse )

I am thinking general life is proof of how out of whack I truly am. Collapse )

Is it depression or just plain laziness? Collapse )

Am I being honest with myself or just typically negative?Collapse )

Endorphins or just a moment of clarity?Collapse )

Hey All...

I promised a recap so here is gonna be the cliff notes version of my day.

After I posted that entry about heading off to the hospital, Threw on my boots and headed out the door.

I got there about 15 minutes early so I waited with my Mom in the pre op waiting room.

7:35 - Got into the hospital garb and had a cool nurse set up my IV (I know, I have tattoos, dunna mean I like Needles)
7:45 - Wheeled into a waiting area. Layed on the bed while my Mother and I chatted and she worked on some documents she needed to complete for her job
8:25 - Wheeled into the operating room (The assisting Doctor was very cool and shot the shit with me while he injected the anesthesia)
Anesthesia conversation goes like this:
Me: What is that your injecting the IV with?
Doctor: This is the appetizer for your Anesthesia
Me: Ok, how long is it gonna take to kick in?
Doctor: Well it takes about 2 seconds to reach your hand (The IV was in the back of my right hand)
then a few minutes for it to filter into your system and work.
Me: Interesting. I don't feel anything
...
10:35 - Wake up in Post op a bit confused.
10:35 - 11:55 Fight with the Anesthesia to allow me to stay awake, ask for pain killers, stop breathing, have nurse remind me to breathe about 10 times
12:30 - Come home, try not to puke, hit the bed, sleep on and off
Keep passing out till about 4ish. Post last entry.

And now as the night progressed, I was struck with full torso muscle spasms which equate to a Charlie Horse that goes from under my belly button to my shoulders. Believe me those are not fun. The last time I had this kind of an experience it was just my lower back going into spasm, not my entire torso.

They shaved my belly and if you know anything about my physical appearance, you know I am somewhat hairy.

So now I have hair on my chest, belly stubble and hair below that.

Hell of a day. :)

Hope you all had a kept breathing day!

I survived, update later

Current Mood: Recouping
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